so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
this is an emotional support booty call
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
