I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
