Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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