It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
