Pappa wants mamma naked
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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