exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
