Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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