my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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