My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
