I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
