Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
