All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
