Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
