: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
