weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
