So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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