have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
