Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
