that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
