I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He did a backflip because drugs
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
