Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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