so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
