It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
