We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
