Fuck appropriateness.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
