I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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