i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
