well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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