I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
