i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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