ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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