ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I look better un-naked...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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