how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Can Purell be used as lube?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
