I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
