remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Did I show you my penis last night?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
