false alarm. still invincible.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
