So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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