he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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