I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
