The best revenge is premature balding
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
