My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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