We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
