It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
