these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
