awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
