so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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