This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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