I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
