Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
