Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
