idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
